If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
