So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
