69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
