I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize