I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
