dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
