why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
