I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize