Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do vagina's smell?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
