I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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