You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
