3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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