you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
