I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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