Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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