Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We named our party play list daddy issues
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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