Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
