does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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