It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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