there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
