watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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