sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
