She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
this is an emotional support booty call
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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