So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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