maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
