god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
