apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
