the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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