My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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