Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
