So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
