Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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