Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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