I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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