There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
