I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
