Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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