I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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