did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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