trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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