Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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