life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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