I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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