You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
