I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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