ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
