do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
