I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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