Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
