You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
