My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
