She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
