if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
