playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I deserve this hangover.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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