My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
