This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
