this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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