You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
