Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's never too late to be topless.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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