i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
