this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
