So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
