I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
