I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
