Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
