My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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