8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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