There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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