She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize